


Pay the Ghost

by taizi



Series: Problem Child [3]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Leo Whump, Oneshot, Pre-Series, Raph getting over his issues, and there's Angst, slowly but surely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 18:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7233223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taizi/pseuds/taizi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All of them were raw and tender with grief, still reeling drunkenly through the motions of this brand new life without their father; but Leo just moved forward without ever faltering, bowing gently with their sorrow but never breaking under his own. And Raph had hated him for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pay the Ghost

Leo sank against the wall as the elevator car bumped its way up ancient cables, pressing his forehead against a gummy wood panel and trying to steady himself against the pounding ache in his head.

He felt so _stupid._

What had father's training been for, if three men could so easily get the jump on him on his way home from work? He came out of the altercation on top, but not before they got a few solid hits in, and ripped the collar of his second best work shirt. At least they didn't get his wallet.

The elevator shuddered to a stop on his floor, and he waited for the doors to wheeze open. His brothers were out of school for the summer, so there was no telling what they might be up to at home, and no use hoping that they might already be asleep. Leo only prayed, fervently, that he didn't look as bad as he felt.

The lock turned with a loud clank, and he let himself in–and the apartment was half-lit, one bare bulb glowing brightly from the fat lamp they found at Goodwill that didn't come with a shade, and two of his little brothers were staring at him from the couch.

Leo's heart sank.

"What the _fuck,"_ Raph said immediately, and Mikey shot to his feet, blue eyes wide and stricken. Leo hated himself for putting that look on his face.

"I'm okay," he said, taking the coward's way out and reaching for Mikey, who wouldn't hurt or fight him the way Raph was bound to; but then Raph was standing, too, and telling Mikey to "go get Donnie," and Mikey took off down the hall without a word, and Leo's only excuse for not facing his volatile brother went with him.

Raph's eyes were dark in the poor lighting, and his face was drawn into a shadowed glower as he crossed the room. Leo tensed, bracing his battered body for another round, even though a large part of him wanted to just sit down somewhere and give in to exhausted tears. This responsibility mother and sensei both left him would be so much easier to deal with if Raphael would just _help_ him instead of _fighting_ him on _everything._

"What the fuck," his brother said again, with feeling, and Leo would have told him to watch his mouth if Raph hadn't reached across the arm's length left between them, and cupped Leo's face in his hands. "Who did this to you? What happened?"

"It was–I took the subway," Leo said dumbly. "I don't know the buses very well yet. And there were some men in the station–" He broke off there, as Mikey came back down the hall dragging Donnie and the first aid kit they had liberated from sensei's school with him, and felt his throat get tight. "Donnie, put all that away. It's just a few bruises."

"You're bleeding," Donnie said, and his voice wa soft and smooth, and Raph only moved his hands away so Donnie could replace them, and Leo didn't know what to do with all the stark concern pointed at him. "Leo, come on. Sit down before you fall down."

He was maneuvered onto the couch, feeling foolish, and tried to argue the whole situation again; he was _fine,_ and he didn't want them to look so worried. He took care of them, that was his job, and this unpleasantness was just part of it. But Mikey's arms were around his shoulders in the next moment, like a favorite blanket, and Leo couldn't bring himself to shrug the twelve-year-old away.

Donnie took his time doctoring, perched on the coffee table in front of him, and Leo wanted to shrink into nothing under the weight of their attention, or at least run away; but Raph watched him without wavering, green eyes steely, and Leo didn't think he would get very far.

Mikey only slid away when Donnie mentioned Leo hadn't eaten dinner, flipping the bare kitchen to life and preparing to work his magic there. Moments later, Donnie went back down the hall to put the first aid kit away and dig up some Tylenol, noting sympathetically the lines of pain in Leo's face that gave his budding migraine away.

And when those two were gone, Raph was still there; sitting on the sofa beside him, arms folded. The sharp edges of him had softened, until he resembled the friend and brother Leo used to play with in Yoshi's wide gardens.

There was still a knot in Leo's throat, and something stinging in his eyes. The last few hours, the last few days, the last few weeks had been so hard. But this–sitting here, sinking into the couch like a stone, still warm from the affections of little brothers and so thoroughly cared for–was easy.

He didn't deserve easy. But just for tonight, he would take it.

"Thanks, Raphie," he said, and a strong arm circled his shoulders. He took the pills Don folded into his hand, and ate the bowl of Spaghettios Mikey gave him, and leaned into all the casual half-hugs his small family aimed his way, and watched half a movie with them he didn't know the name of, and fell asleep against Raph's shoulder.

Hoping for more nights like this one. If price of admission would only be brief chagrin and a few new bruises, it was a price Leo could afford.

* * *

Leo was a solid warmth against his side, folded under Raph's arm like it was two years ago again – back when there wasn't ugly contention always sitting between them like a sadistic stranger, back when Leo was _happy_ to see him when he got home.

Raph felt it when Leo went heavy, loose-limbed in sleep. It was the exhausted kind, the blackout, restless kind, and Raph wished he could thumb those deep circles under Leo's eyes away. Wished the torn skin and bruises could be peeled off his face like stickers.

"This isn't working," Donnie murmured, sotto voce. "He doesn't owe us this."

It felt unreal, to be talking so plainly about him with Leo's head on his shoulder, and Mikey listening, watching them all with grave blue eyes. Don didn't give ground, though. Looked right through Raph's closed expression like he'd drag the unwanted conversation out of his head by force if that's what it took.

"This isn't working," he said again, with iron buried in the softness of his tone. "Raph, he can't do this by himself."

 _He's been doing fine so far,_ a mean part of Raph's heart supplied, but Raph knew it for a lie. He was doing better than Raph would have done in Leo's shoes, but that wasn't saying a lot.

Untouched by their tragedy, Leo had strode forward. Gathering up the scant little they had, depleting the savings account sensei had started for them, finding an apartment listing on Craigslist posted by a landlord who didn't care _who_ was moving in, as long as they had first month's rent and a security deposit paid up front, in cash. Swallowing his pride and asking Mr. O'Neil for help setting up the utilities. Taking Mikey to Goodwill and letting him pick out cheap, secondhand furniture and kitchen appliances like it was a treat, so the kid wouldn't have to think about how much they had left behind again, how much they would be without again. Letting Donnie budget, listening attentively and nodding in all the right places as he did his best to be helpful.

Putting a schedule on the yellowed fridge, _"this is where I'll be working, here are the numbers where you can reach me when I'm gone."_ Raph pointing out, cruelly, that the schedule was impossible with school starting again in a few weeks, and Leo looking at Raph without looking at him at all, announcing quietly that he wasn't going back in the fall with the rest of them. not to worry, he'd take care of things.

Leo, who had done so well in all of his classes, smarter than he ever got credit for next to Donnie. He really got to shine when he could stand alone, when he didn't have an entourage of little brothers to mother and protect. But it was so easy for him to let that go, to pick up shitty work in shitty parts of town so they wouldn't starve or go without heat, so they'd have a place that could be home.

All of them raw and tender with grief, still reeling drunkenly through the motions of this brand new life without their father, any push felt like a blow; but Leo just moved forward without ever faltering, bowing gently with their sorrow but never breaking under his own.

Raph had hated him for that. Hated him for being okay, for being so strong and doing so much when Raph couldn't do _anything._

And then he came home on a limp, shirt torn, lip cut and bleeding, and oh, god, it wasn't hatred at all. Not at all. Leo stood tall when Raph approached him, but his eyes withered as he braced himself for another battle, when he couldn't shelter from him behind little Mikey (Mikey, who could cradle the world in his hands if he were as big as all his love), when Raph stopped right in front of him and gave him nowhere else to look.

 _"I'm okay,"_ he'd said, but there was a fracture in his voice that nearly took Raphael apart. He was bleak and pale, all used up, so impossibly _tired._ Standing in this home he had carved out for them like it wasn't as much his as theirs, ready to absorb another blow from his hateful little brother, ready to take another helping of Raph's pain on top of his own – and not knowing what to do, when Raph took his face gently in both hands.

Leo, who had never been okay. Who had never been untouched. Who had lost mother, and now father, and was beginning to lose himself, a little bit, too. Who stared at Raph like he was seeing him clearly for the first time in months, when Raph touched him without meaning to hurt him.

 _I don't hate you,_ Raph wanted to tell him. _I was miserable and mean to you, but I don't hate you._

Instead he pulled Leo closer, his arm a shield – let anyone get to Leo now, let anyone _try –_ and said quietly, "He's not by himself, Donnie. Not anymore."


End file.
